it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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