I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
