...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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