i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize