if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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