You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
being pregnant is like rehab
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
