There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
