he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize