guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
