the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
