Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
