im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
