you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
