I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I love having hate sex.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
NoShamevember. You game?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
