i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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