yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
