so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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