Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
