Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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