Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
do herpes really smell.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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