how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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