i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
