I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
