So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Small penises have feelings too.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
