My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
