shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
