i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
