he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
