Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
