So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
