I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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