I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
