so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
