I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
