saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
