Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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