So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
