we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
