Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
