You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
