I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
