Banned from zoo.
Again?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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