if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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