Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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