i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
