she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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