yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
