I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
