He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
