I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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