I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
