why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
