Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
