Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Too much gin, very little bucket
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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