I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
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