Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
