Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
