Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
