I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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