Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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