Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize