I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
