No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
vagina is talking i cant
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize