you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize