that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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